She Wolves can Cry
by sg-1
Summary: How Leah became a werewolf, and how her heart was rebroken. Nothing seems to be getting better for the lone wolf.
1. Turned

"What's happening to me?" she thought, her body started to tremble and she was on the ground. She felt heated energy coursing in and out of her body. Then she was different she looked at herself in a puddle and saw a grey animal before her. It didn't take long for her to realize the grey wolf was her. She screamed to her horror that scream came out as a howl. "It's a bad dream you'll wake up soon," she told herself. After a moment she realized it wasn't a dream, she was a monster.

"Leah it's okay," a voice said. She turned around to see Sam, Jared, Paul, Jacob, Quil and Embery. She was terrified she backed away, how did they know it was her.

"What's happening?" she tried to ask only it came out as a whimper, that was suppose to be a sob.

"You're a wolf now," Sam said coming forward.

She backed away scared, into a tree, she didn't understand what had happened to her. She didn't know how they knew it was her, but out of fear she ran. She bolted on all fours into the trees and heard something running after her. She wanted to be a girl again, she didn't know what was happening, but she stopped running and felt a shrinking sensation in her bones. She was then curled up on the ground, naked!

The running stopped and she looked around in the forest, and saw Sam emerge a minute later. He was shirtless, but had a pair of pants on. To her embarrassment the other boys came forward and circled around her. Jared came forward with a blanket and put it around her shoulders, she hugged it tightly. He helped her off the ground and brought her over to Sam. Sam put an arm around her and she cried, she didn't know what was happening.

"Shhh it's okay Leah this isn't a bad thing," he said softly.

"What the hells going on?" she asked.

"Leah we all are wolves, and we became wolves because of the vampires in the area," he said. Leah felt tired sleepy Sam picked her up in his arms and they started walking to Emily's house. Leah tried to avoid Emily and Sam as much as possible, she knew she was now bitter. They'd done that to her, she didn't care about what others thought. The colour had been taken from her world; therefore she made herself go black and white, so she wouldn't have to feel the pain they caused her. Although no matter how much she tried to numb herself the pain still was there.

"Lay her in here," Emily said.

They put her down on the bed, "Leah are you still awake?" Emily asked.

"Yes," she mumbled. They let her rest for a little while, and get changed, then Sam reentered the room.

"Leah, in a bloodline of the Quilette tribe there runs a wolf gene. When that gene is unlocked that person can turn from man to wolf, and becomes apart of the pack. At first we thought only the males had it, you're the first female," Sam said.

"I can change into a wolf?" Leah said startled.

"Yes Jacob, Paul, Jared, Quil, Colin, Brandy, Embry all can too," Sam said.

"Why?"

"We're here to protect the tribe," Sam said, "do you remember the cold ones in the legends?"

"Yes," she said.

"Well they're all true Leah," Sam said.

"When you were missing for two weeks in high school…." Leah trailed.

"That is when I turned," Sam said.

"Emily wasn't attacked by a bear was she?" Leah said.

"No she wasn't, I lost control one night," Sam replied, "Leah something happened I imprinted." Leah looked at Sam confused, "Imprinting is when you find somebody who your soul is tied to, it's uncontrollable you feel eternally bound to that person no matter what, and the second I saw Emily I imprinted with her."

"Does she know?" Leah asked her voice raspy.

"Yes, we found out when she came last year, Jared imprinted with Kim as well, and Quil's also imprinted with somebody," Sam said gently.

"Why didn't you tell me!" Leah yelled. She wasn't just hurt anymore she was angry, "If it was some weird spirit thingy don't you think I deserved to know?" she shouted angry.

"Leah..." he tried.

"No! I cried myself to sleep for months, not just because you'd broken my heart! You made me feel so unwanted, disposable!" That was the word she'd been looking for, and worse Emily knew too. As much as they'd hurt her, they could've given her and explanation other then, "I'm sorry." Leah broke out into tears and then got ran to her feet.

"Leah please let me explain," Sam said his voice horse like it was on the verge of tears.

"You've had a full year to explain!" she screamed. Leah ran out the door past everybody, Emily looked at her with tears in her eyes. Emily tried to run after her, but Leah fazed into a wolf again and ran fast to the cliff.

Her hurt and betrayal was renewed, the knife that had been plunged into her heart had been twisted once again. She ran until she was at the cliff, the same one she'd cried at a year ago. The betrayal was worse they knew that it had hurt her, if they couldn't control it they should've told her. They should've tried and given her some form of closure. It hurt enough to know that she was no longer loved, but to know that they sat and watched her pain. All they'd said was, "I'm sorry."

For all the tears she'd cried, "I'm sorry," wasn't good enough. Her huge now grey eyes welled with tears, and soaked the hair on her face. She didn't hear crying just whimpers from her throat, she howled at the cliffs. Her cry of pain echoed past the ocean like it had a year ago. Sam and Emily the cause of the pain she would forever feel.


	2. Heart rebroken

Leah cried herself to sleep that night, her family was use to it. Leah always put on the brave face, she didn't want anybody to see her cry. It felt like weakness to her, crying letting everybody know that she was hurt. There was a knock at the door and Sam and Emily entered, "Leave!" Leah ordered.

"Please Leah," Emily begged.

"Leave! This is going to be hard enough without deal without looking at the love birds," Leah spat.

"Leah we're so sorry about everything," Emily said sincerely.

"How bout this, you two don't have to try and make me feel better, to make yourselves feel better," Leah said coldly. They shrunk back, they knew that may have been part of the reason they'd came.

"I'll be outside," Emily said.

"You can take him with you," Leah said.

Emily left but Sam stayed behind and Leah looked right into his eyes. Leah hated this tears started to fall from her eyes, making her weak again. She felt the tightening in her chest and the weakening in her knees. Sam came forward and pulled her into a hug, Leah tried to push him away, but he held on tighter. Leah futilely beat against his chest and then started to scream into him. Sam pulled her head closer to his shoulder and shushed her. Leah's throat started to tighten from holding back her screams.

"I will always love you Leah," he whispered.

"No you don't," she cried, "if you had then you wouldn't have left me."

"I do Leah, it wasn't you," he said. Leah had asked herself that many times, 'What did I do wrong?' but never found an answer. Sam backed away and looked her in the face, "Leah you did nothing wrong. You did everything right you were kind, and loyal, and giving," he said.

"If I did everything right why did you leave me?" Leah asked.

"I haven't found an answer to that," Sam said. Leah stepped away from him and then went out the door of her bedroom. Sam and Emily left and Leah went to the cliffs, and stared out at the sea. Leah knew what she wanted to do, she didn't want to be heartbroken, she didn't want to be a giant wolf; she didn't want to exist. Leah looked across and walked a distance to the highest point on the cliff she could find. Leah knew she was a pathetic coward for doing this. Leah took out a pen and a piece of paper and wrote,

_Dear Mom and Seth_

_I never wanted to put you through this, especially not after Dad. I just can't do it anymore, I just can't live like everything's okay. I know how selfish, and cowardly this is, but I am too weak I guess. I hope you forgive me, and know that I'll be happier this way. The truth is I died a year ago. _

_Love Leah_

Leah put the letter under the rock and took a deep breath. Leah didn't feel fear, she felt like a weight was lifted off of her, release. When somebody commits suicide do they realize that every problem in their life is fixable? Except for the fact that they've killed themselves. Leah knew that wasn't the case, it had been a year and she still hadn't healed. Leah looked up to the ocean and felt gravity shift as she walked off the cliff and into the icy water.


	3. Important

Sorry this will be my last update for a while I am going away from March 4th-19th, I'll update as soon as I can when I get back.

New Victim: Febuary 28th update was my last one until I get back. I tried not to leave it on a cliff hanger.

Checking out: Updated today, hope It was a satisfying chapter.

Toxic survival: For one nobody cares, and I will be updating today or tomorrow.

Running Forever: I had planed to put the new chapters up on the 29th, but I don't know if the people who are planning to read it, would prefer two chapters now, or just have me post when I get back and avoid a wait.

Prey: Sequel to Hunted was going to post in a week, but I am going away, so when I get back I'll put the first chapter up.

Ipswich Daughters, not going to post that until I get back.

She wolf: I'll post a chapter before I go.


	4. Secret

The water swirled around her, and Leah felt the darkness in her mind as it filled her lungs. Down, down it filled her nostrils and caressed her body like blanket. Leah saw nothing as white lights appeared and her vision became tunneled. Then there was warmth pressed against her, and she felt the sting of the air. 

She heard voices crying frantically and felt compressions on her chest. The icy water came out of her lungs as she coughed and hacked on the rocks. 

"Leah!" Sam's voice said. 

Sam pulled her to him and hugged her tightly gasping in relief. Leah was then picked up and carried, she woke up in the back of a car. Blankets were draped around her, and her eyes opened and she moved. 

"Leah don't move," Jared's voice said. 

"Why am I here?" she asked. 

"You were in the water for quite a while," Embery said. 

"Where are we?" she asked. 

"Driving you to the hospital," Quil said from up front. 

"I'm not going to any hospital, now let me out," she demanded. 

They didn't listen to her, they just kept driving until they reached the hospital. Leah got out but Sam grabbed her shoulder, "Leah we need the doctors to say your okay," Sam said. 

Leah shrugged his arm off and kept walking, Jacob caught up to her and threw her over his shoulder. "Put me down!" she yelled. 

Jacob and the other boys ignored her and brought her inside setting her on her feet. Leah remembered something, 'Fuck the suicide note! What if they knew it wasn't an accident? Calm down just get it as soon as they let you out of here.'

Dr. Cullen came forward and brought Leah into a room, "Can you take off your clothes and get into a gown," Carlisle said. 

"Um no, I'm leaving," Leah said. 

"You do realize post secondary drowning is a risk," Carlisle said. 

'I was trying to drown,' Leah thought, 'well this means they didn't know it was suicide.'

"I'm fine," she said, "I just fell."

Carlisle looked at her as though in doubt, "How bout you let me check you over, so I can get your mother off my back, and then you can go home."

Leah shrugged and put on a hospital gown, Carlisle checked for water in her lungs. He then signed her off, "I have a temperature?" she said confused, people who were in icy water weren't suppose to be 110. 

"Leah werewolves run at high temperatures, and vampires run at low ones," Carlisle said. 

"You a vampire?" Leah asked. 

"Yes I am," he replied. 

"Is there like a vampire werewolf war?" she asked. 

"No but technically we don't like each other," he smiled lightly. Leah smiled back for a mortal enemy he was okay. 

They drove Leah back home, her mother was frantic, Leah apologized then said she would be more careful. The light was peaking through the window, and Leah didn't waste any time. Leah hurried quickly to the rock where she'd laid the suicide note on. Leah's heart stopped the not wasn't on the rock, it was in Sam's hands. Leah stared at him, she'd never wanted him to see that note. 

"Please don't tell my mother," Leah begged. 

"Leah were wolves can coordinate with each other, when they want to," Sam said. Leah looked stunned, "Leah we knew where to find you last night; the entire pack mind connected. Doing that allows us to know how everybody is feeling, and where everybody is."

"Just give me the note Sam," Leah said. Sam handed her the note and Leah stuffed it in her pocket and walked in the other direction. 

"Leah please, just listen to me," Sam said. 

"Sam you're released, go live happy with Emily and run your wolf pack. I'll keep my mouth shut, I'll smile at your wedding, and I won't kill myself," Leah said. 

"Leah I don't want to be released," Sam said. 

"Then what do you want?" Leah demanded. 

"For you to smile again," Sam said. 

"Yeah well you might need to wait a while," Leah said running off. 


	5. Seth

Leah fazed and ran through the bushes, when she felt something. It was like multiple voices were calling her all at once. Leah stopped and recognized the voices, Quil, Sam, Jared, Paul, Embery, Jacob, voices' all danced in her head. She shook her head and looked around, but nobody was there.

"Leah we don't need to be in one place to talk to each other," Jared explained.

"All of you get out of my head!" Leah communicated.

"It's important Leah, listen," Paul voice ordered.

Leah stopped and felt something, like another person was in her head now. It only took a moment to recognize, Seth! Leah followed to where the presence was pulling her and found a tan wolf. He was howling, Leah fazed back, "Seth it happened to me to, just concentrate on being a person again.".

Seth did and he was a boy crumpled to the ground, "Leah what's happening!" he cried.

"It happened to me 2 days ago," Leah said running to him letting him fall on her. "It's okay, I promise," she whispered. .

The pack showed up, Leah covered herself, and Paul handed her a towel. Leah wrapped it around herself, and Sam draped a blanket over her brother's shoulders. They took a hysterical Seth back to Emily's and Leah listened as Sam explained everything to him.

Seth slept in the same room Leah had, and Sam went in. A long time later Seth and Sam came out of the room. Leah had dressed herself in this time, and was worrying about how Seth was. She looked up anxiously to see if he was okay, to her surprise and annoyance Seth had a grin on his face.

"Cool," he said in an awed voice.

Leah was both relieved and annoyed, she sighed and went over and hugged Seth. Embery crossed the room and smacked Seth on the back, "Welcome to the club."

Leah went back home, her mother was at the kitchen table, with an annoyed look on her face. Leah and Seth looked at the mother, "Where have you two been!" she said angrily. Leah looked at her watch it was 1:00am, "I've been worried out of my mind, why didn't you call?" she said frustrated.

"Sorry mom," Seth mumbled.

"Mom, relax we're okay," Leah said.

"I didn't know that!"

Leah was annoyed, it was bad enough being transformed into a giant dog. Leah calmed down and went up to her room, and Seth came in. He sat down on Leah's bed, "Look Sam told me about why you broke up, I just wanted to see if you were okay."

"I'm fine Seth," Leah said sharply.

"I use to wanna punch that guy," Seth said quickly regretting his words.

"Oh so now he's a saint? Well Seth if you knew anything at all, you would have known he didn't tell me. He just went off with her, so what if he couldn't help it? He could have given me an explanation, it would've been the very least he could've done. Instead he made me think that he'd just run off with my cousin, so that really doesn't make it better. In fact it just makes it a lot worse," Leah said angrily.

Seth sat silently on the bed, "You know you've changed a lot," he said frustrated.

"No shit Sherlock! Now get the hell out!" Leah shouted.

Seth left and Leah started to cry, Seth came back in and sat down. He put a hand on her shoulder, "I'm sorry Leah, it was a dumb thing to bring up," he said sympathetically. Leah continued to cry, "I'll still punch him if you want," Seth offered.

Leah couldn't help but laugh, "Thanks Seth, I might take you up on that offer."

Seth left the room and Leah went up on her roof and looked at the moon. The same one she now howled at.


	6. A personal matter

Leah wasn't looking forward to the BBQ, but decided she would make a appearance. Idiots, the forecast was for a thunderstorm. Leah didn't look forward to seeing the 'La Push Pack,' and Sam and Emily the site was enough to make her sick or cry. The only reason she was going to this thing was because, her mom was getting worried about her not being 'out enough.' Leah put on a pair of jeans and some lipstick with mascara, unlike Emily she could have any guy in the room. Leah knew her thoughts were malice, but she really couldn't feel too sorry for Emily, she hated her, she hated them.

Leah sighed and put on a sweater, and ran to the car. They arrived at the Blacks, the boys club was there of course, with the parents, the elders, the lovers. She choked down a hotdog, but other then that couldn't wait to get outta there. She looked over at Sam and Emily, it was almost like they were trying to rub it in. Sam kissed Emily and looked at her with tender eyes on the other side of the backyard. Leah wiped the tear away before anybody noticed, then she looked at Emily's ruined face and the truth behind it and felt better. Was it Maliciousness on her part? Or was it Karma? They did nothing to prevent her or to stop her suffering, when they'd caused it, was it so wrong that they suffered to?

She looked at the guys who seemed to be giving her hard looks. What's their problem? Was it because she wouldn't join their precious little club? Leah went off into the forest to ignore their mixed expressions. Jacob then came over to her, "What's the problem?" Leah asked.

"Can you at least try?" Jacob said gently in almost a sympathetic tone.

"Try what?"

"To not be such a bitch," Embry stated coming up behind Jacob.

"Oh so I don't want to be a pack member, so I'm a bitch?" Leah stated.

"I get that they hurt you, but you don't have to get such a kick out of Emily's face, or that Sam did that to her," Embry said, "he can pick it up you know."

Leah looked confused, "Excuse me?"

"We were going to explain it to you," Jacob said giving Embry a sharp look. "When a pack member's feelings are really strong in their mind, sometimes the pack picks them up."

Leah looked at them stunned, like she was going to cry. Everything that she didn't want them to see they saw, "Fuck you!" she shouted, "You want me to try? Well guess what I have! How dare you say anything to me like trying! You're such a hypocrite Jacob Black! Why don't you get over Bella Swan? Or not get such a kick out of her boyfriend having left so you can finally screw her!"

"Leah stop it," Embry cut in.

"Why don't you run home to your slut of a mother!" Leah screamed breaking into tears.

They looked stunned and Leah ran off through the bushes and fazed, not caring about her good jeans. She reached home and ran through the front door naked. Nobody was home, she ran into her bedroom and sobbed on the bed. She couldn't help that she was horrible now, everything shameful, humiliating, personal was laid out for them to see.


	7. Boy's club

The phone rang Leah went to answer it the caller id said Emily. She sighed and picked it up, "What do you want Sam?"

"Leah I need you to meet me here it's urgent," Sam said.

Sam hung up Leah was a little annoyed that he just gave her an order. She was more annoyed that she was going to follow it. Leah got into the car and drove to Emily's, she got out and the entire pack was there, including her brother.

Sam approached her, "Leah an army is coming here," Sam said.

"Huh?"

"Newborn bloodsuckers, we're helping the Cullens," Sam explained. Leah looked at him dumbfounded for a moment, "Leah I'm not going to make you fight, I wanted to let you know you still have the option."

"Is Seth…"

"Yes," Sam said.

"Then I'll do it," Leah said, Seth wasn't the only person she wanted to go for though.

Leah got out and went over to the pack of boys, "So where are we finding these things?"

"Clearing on Cullen land," Paul said.

'I don't want her here,' a Quil's voice said unaware of Leah's listening.

'Look she can here you man,' Embry said.

'I don't want her here either but, let's try and be nice,' Jacob said.

'I don't want to be here,' Leah cut in, 'but I am, my brother's here, and I'm not leaving, so how bout you goons deal with it, and we'll get along a lot better."

'Just behave Leah,' Jacob said.

'Excuse me, but I'll think whatever I like, by behaving if you mean not kicking your ass, then fine I'll restrain myself. I can't help what goes on in my head no more then you can, so bite me pooch."

Leah stared all of them down for a moment, then her voice went into a too sweet tone in her mind, 'After all Jacob maybe you should be looking forward to this you'll get to see Bella.'

Leah knew that was a little below the belt, but she wasn't going to be looked down upon by the boy's club. Leah nodded in regard and left even Seth gave her a bit of a dirty look.

'You know it'd be easy for her to try if you'd let her,' he growled in his mind, 'I know she's being bitchy, but it's not like you guys make it easy for her either. I know she's mostly at fault but you can all try too," Seth said when he thought Leah wasn't listening.

'Leah we meet the Cullens in the clearing tonight,' Sam said.

'Fine,' she said driving off.

Leah packed a gym bag walked to the clearing then fazed. Leah was the first one there before the pack showed up. They emerged from the bushes and Sam immediately started talking to Edward the mind reader. The Swan girl was in front of Jacob, and the boys were complaining about the smell.

They were right the Cullens smelt like burnt honey, it was unpleasant. It was much worse when they had to smell them for identity reasons. It was going to be a long night, and an even longer tomorrow.

I still love you guys, but it's end of year exams in a month, so if updates are a little further apart at one point, I'm sorry.


	8. I'll get over it

The little bloodsucker was behind the bush; I crouched down. He snarled and I retaliated and stepped forward, he ran though and I didn't move out of the way in time. There was the sound of something crashing into rock; I looked up to see that Jacob had knocked him into a tree. I charged forwards, but he moved out of the way and went strait for Jacob. I heard the sound of bones cracking before Paul and Jared tore the bloodsucker to pieces.

I looked at the ground and saw the russet wolf lying there, 'STUPID!' I thought to myself. I went around him and phased back, "Jacob!" I shouted. The wolf was unconscious I touched his face and felt his heartbeat; he was still alive. A tear fell down my cheek I brushed it away quickly.

'Leah stay with him we're on our way,' Sam said in my mind.

They took him back to his house; accusing eyes were on me all over the place. I slouched, trying to avoid them and the angry voices in my head. Billy didn't seem to be angry with me at all.

'Mr. Black,' I said in my head, 'I'm so sorry it's all my fault.'

'He'll be fine wolves heal quickly,' Billy communicated his tone was calm and honest. I think he was just glad that Jacob was okay and didn't care about assigning blame for now.

I avoided looking up to avoid the glares of everybody. I eventually left and headed back to my house, nobody was home. Seth didn't say anything to me as I passed him going upstairs. I went into the shower and made the water as freezing as it would go. I got out and shivered as I put on a huge T-shirt that I used for fazing and walked to my room. I collapsed on my bed and started to sob, 'You stupid fool!' I yelled to myself.

No voices were in my head; I wanted to be left alone, so I was glad. I hated everything about my life now, what I was, whom I was with, the place where I lived, the things that I did. I couldn't be happy, worse it seemed nobody could be happy with me either.

My attitude didn't change it was still the same one that everybody hated. I didn't talk to the pack a lot after the battle in the clearing. They didn't want me, I really couldn't blame them; I didn't want them for the most part. It kind of was a burn to know that you couldn't even fit in with the people who were just like you.

Mom and I didn't spend, as much time together; neither did Seth and I. He was very tied to the pack now, I didn't even hear their voices in my head anymore. I actually started to miss that over a while, it was kind of like being severed from something that was apart of you. I looked at the calendar and frowned, it was exactly one month until Sam and Emily got married. I felt to numbed to cry about it like some idiotic girl I once was.

I would smile at the wedding, I would dish, I would do Emily's hair; I would be nice. I felt the lump rise in my throat when I thought about it. I was helping my cousin whom I was dumped for, get married to the guy who had broken my heart. I laughed a little, it was sick, wrong but I would do it. I had been asked, it wasn't fair to ask me, but I did. I was obligated to I was her cousin and she didn't have any other real close girl friends. I wasn't her friend anymore though, and I was her cousin only by name, as far as I was concerned.

Life was the same I thought to myself one day. Well that wasn't true my life was hell and it wasn't _all my _fault, but parts of it were. I sighed and I went downstairs and Emily and Sam were there. I paid them a semi-polite nod wondering what they were doing here, and walked out the door, "Leah we're eating in fifteen minutes," Mom said.

I cracked my knuckles she'd invited them! Why the hell would she do that to me? She knew I was still dealing now I would have to sit down with them. I clenched my jaw spun on my heel and just walked to the table. That was low, not even warning me before hand, just ambushing me. Mom thought it would be good to make peace before the wedding. I understood that I would have to behave through an entire ceremony, but I wasn't going to be friends with her. Wait mom had warned me about tonight actually, I had gotten into a huge fight with her. I forgot that today was Thursday that's when the happy couple were invited. I never paid attention to time anymore, I just remembered one date in my head September 2nd. My mother always seemed to have a deep desire of everybody to be nice in the world. It was a nice thought, but it's what made her stupid sometimes. Then again it's why dad loved her so much.

I sat across from Emily and Sam, I wasn't going to talk to them. I would eat I would sit there, but I wasn't going to play the happy cousin/x girlfriend. Emily sighed then smiled sweetly, "This looks great Sue," she said in an enthusiastic voice.

My mother smiled at her, "Yeah Leah's usually the one that does most of the cooking though," she said sweetly.

"You learned to cook?" Emily asked cheerfully.

"She said I did most of the cooking didn't she?" I said in a hidden cool tone, stating the obvious.

Emily doubled back then smiled in spite of herself. If she was going to start up conversation then she was looking at the wrong person. My mom and Sam tried to look unfazed by my anti social behavior. Seth just chewed his food knowing this was just as bad idea as I did. Emily and my mom tried to get into a conversation about cooking. Sam looked down at his food, unlike Emily and my mother; he wasn't as stupid when it came to people getting along.

I ignored the conversation until my name was mentioned. This was obviously thick, I hated when good people had good intentions but were just plain stupid. My mother opened her big mouth, "You know that boy Jonathan, who just moved here is going to be that the BBQ next Saturday," my mother said hiding an implicating tone.

Emily then did the dumber thing, "He's a nice boy."

I wanted to punch them both after my mother said, "He's your age Leah."

Emily and my mother gave me a look that seemed a little too encouraging. My eyes shot up from the table, 'Leah I'm sorry, please just calm down,' Sam said in my head feeling my anger.

I didn't say anything Emily looked at me, hoping I would say something. My mother was looking at me too, 'Lea just breathe it helps,' Seth said when my knuckles went white.

"I really don't care what age he is," I said in a cool tone, letting them know to back off. I was starting to shake under the table and I knew what that meant.

"Emily's met him," My mother said.

'Leah shhhhh,' Sam said trying to soothe me.

I was on the verge of tears this was humiliating. Seth and Sam were both giving me sympathetic looks followed by less oblivious Emily, who had taken the hint very quickly. My mother realizing her stupidity changed the conversation, everybody but me participated in a little bit. I cleared the table then was washing the dishes. My mother and Emily came in, since they enjoyed kitchen work. I walked out the door, I didn't care that we still had company over.

I sat on the front porch, looking at my feet and I swallowed. I wasn't going to bother to cry over my mom and Emily being naïve enough to want world peace. Sam sat down next to me, "What do you want?" I asked.

"I'm so sorry about that," he said.

"Yeah so?"

"I'm sorry, and Leah you don't have to you know."

"Have to what?"

"Be a brides maid, I get it, it wasn't fair to ask you. I'll talk to Emily take care of it—"

"Sam shut up, everybody's expecting me to be there. I already picked out the dress, I promise I'll smile, so there."

"Leah I really don't care if you do it smiling or it a fit of rage. I want you to be okay with doing it," Sam said.

"I want to do it because I'm already obligated to, so just leave it. I'll get over it."

He looked a little pained but ignored it, I got up and went back inside. I'd get over it I always got over it, even though I knew that was a lie.


	9. Almost and ending

Leah put on her dress and did her makeup until she looked presentable. She practiced her smile in the mirror a few times. Despite her best effort the smile still looked fake to her, even though her face looked happy. She wasn't going to cry; she would smile while walking down the aisle before Emily. Afterwards she would never have to have anything to do with Emily or Sam again. Emily she could live without, Sam would be a little harder, but she'd do it.

Leah turned to face her the person who had entered the room. She looked to see Emily in a white dress and her hair back. She looked pretty despite the scars running down her cheek. Leah decided she'd be cordial, "Is it time?" she asked in a regular tone.

"No, soon though," Emily said.

Emily came over and sat on the bed, great she would want to talk. Leah wasn't going to pep talk her to feel better about their relationship. It may be her wedding day; Leah would respect that, put on the brave face. If she came here to ask for forgiveness she was in the wrong spot.

"Leah I really don't know what to say," Emily said.

'There's definitely more then one place to start,' Leah thought annoyed.

"I wanted to say thank you for being here," Emily said.

"Sure," Leah said giving her a polite nod.

"Leah I'm trying to say thank you," Emily said.

"I'm trying to say sure," Leah replied.

Leah sat behind Emily to fix the barrette in her hair. She did and then got up, putting on her shoes that were too high for her liking. Emily put her hand out for Leah to take; Leah wanted to slap it away, but took it. They walked out to the door of the church, and the organ started to play. Leah's stomach was in a knot realizing she would have to walk out in front of all of La Push. Everybody knew and Leah would still be forced to smile.

Leah took a deep breath and the doors opened, and heads turned. Leah kept her mind neutral so nobody would pick anything up. Leah walked out and tried to make her smile as genuine as possible. Her biggest fear, knowing people could probably see through it. Leah was at the front of the church and Emily started to walk down the aisle. Leah still kept her face in a half smile trying to stare at the wall. She refused to look at the crowed, more importantly she refused to look at Sam.

Leah didn't hear a lot of the words; it was like she'd gone deaf. Their mouths were smiling and they're lips were moving but she couldn't absorb what was happening. Leah seemed to wake up when Sam kissed Emily and the crowed clapped. It was a relief because she knew the ceremony was over, now the real hell began.

Everybody was congealed out on First Beach they were dancing. Leah sat at the table pretending to listen to conversation. Leah looked at a man's watch, only two more hours then she was free. The boy's club was shunning her; she couldn't blame them. Leah didn't care she didn't want their pity, and they didn't want her around period. Even though she didn't want to be here she still felt like a wallflower.

Nobody thought of her as sweet and pretty anymore. She used to be now she fit their definition, a harpy a bitch. There was nothing good or beautiful about her, she was a harpy she was a bitch. Leah watched the smiling faces among the lights and the music as the lights droned on.

Leah stripped off her dress in her room and threw it on the floor. She was never going to wear it again so it went strait in the trash. She felt bitter but a freedom; she would never have to deal with Sam or Emily especially Emily again. Leah had smiled, she mingled politely when forced to, and she fulfilled her duty. Part of her wanted them to get theirs; a bigger part of her wanted them to be happy; it would make him happy.

Leah got into bed and didn't shed a tear; she refused to, she'd shed enough. Leah closed her eyes to see Emily's smiling face; she heard Sam's thoughts in her mind. Leah shook her head and rolled over uncomfortably in her bed. Leah the saw Sam leaning in to kiss Emily, as Emily held his face in her hands. Leah rolled over uncomfortably again, "Just get out of my head," she said softly as one tear escaped.

Leah couldn't sleep while trying to keep the thoughts out of her mind. Leah got up and got a freezing shower until it was 1:00 in the morning. The images and thoughts seemed to die down and Leah couldn't sleep. She cried in her bed, it wasn't fair none of it was leaving her. It was still caught in her head; she'd never be rid of them.

The next morning Leah poured a cup of coffee, added a ridiculous amount of sugar to it. She didn't want to be here, and she didn't want to be like this. Leah thought for a moment, she needed to get away from them, all of them. It would be the end of her; she needed to salvage what was left of her.

She didn't know how though her head was a prison. The place she lived in had become her own personal hell. Leah needed to be somewhere to think, she couldn't think though. Leah banged her head on the table spilling her coffee on the newspaper. She rubbed her forehead and sat up strait.

She looked at the coffee drenched black ink on the paper. Leah felt her eyes being drawn to one line _**Crocodile Attack in Florida kills hiker. **_Leah felt a smile spread across her face at the headline, no matter how stupid the impulse was. Leah was stuffing her clothes in a duffel bag, "Are you serious?" a voice said behind her.

"Yep!" Leah said somewhat excitedly looking at Seth.

"Leah, what the hell are you going to do in Florida?" Seth asked.

"It doesn't have to be Florida, it just needs to be at least three hundred miles from here," Leah said staring to put her things in the duffel.

Seth frowned, "Leah I know you're really upset, but what are you going to do?"

"I have a fund I had been saving for college," Leah said.

"So you're going to college?"

"I don't know I just need to leave," Leah said.

"Leah please just talk it over with mom," Seth pleaded.

"Mom will just cry, I'll write her a note," Leah said.

"Leah you're not leaving," Seth said firmly.

"Yes I am!" Leah said bursting into tears, "I have to leave there's nothing left for me here. I might go to college or I might be homeless, I just can't stay here!"

"Leah," Seth said gently putting two arms around her.

Leah wiped away her tears, "Seth do you honestly think I can be happy here?"

Seth looked at her for a moment, "Just wait until mom gets home," Seth said.

Leah nodded, she would wait but she _would_ leave La Push. Not the pack, the elders, her mother would stop her from leaving. Leah waited until her mother got home and Leah told her that she was leaving.

Her mother looked almost emotionless for a moment before looking at Leah. Leah bit her lip before her mother said, "Go.' Susan looked like she'd expecting this conversation to come.

"What?"

"Go, you need to think, and when you do come back."

"But mom," Leah started.

"Do you want me to talk you out of it?" her mother said amused taking a seat next to her daughter. Leah looked at her mother shocked, "Leah all mothers know at one point when her children just need to be who they are and do something." Leah looked at her mother not saying anything, "I love you Leah, and I'll be here whenever you decide to come home." Her mother looked at her with a gentle look in her eyes, that Leah hadn't seen since her father died.

Leah loaded up the car and gave her mother and Seth a parting look. Her eyes dawned on the house in the rear view as she drove out of the driveway. Leah drove as a smile made its way across her face; it felt like a bird first learning to fly. Leah saw Quil, Embrey, and Jacob sitting on the curb. She was actually going to miss them; she saw Jared and Paul working on a car. They looked up as her car passed by; her eyes finally set on Emily and Sam's house. Leah felt almost a release as she passed it, the forest blurred as she drove onto the small stretch of highway.

Leah in her moment of tranquil good-byes to La Push looked at the gas tank. Leah sighed annoyed and drove into a gas station she filled up her tank. She was about to start the ignition when she gasped at what she saw come out of the convenience store. Leah felt almost a pull and a turn in her chest, then felt like her insides were floating. Leah saw the kid reach into his pocket, then spin on his heel to go back into the store.

Leah couldn't take her eyes off the corner store. She heard a chorus of voices in her head one stood out, "Leah go," Sam's voice said.

Leah felt a huge smile spread across her face as she quickly got out of the car. Leah ran into the corner store searching around for the boy. She didn't need to be told, she knew what had happened. Leah looked at him at the cash paying the clerk.

"Yeah sorry about that," he said embarrassed.

Leah looked at him and his eyes caught hers, it was like there was no one else in the room. The boy's face slackened a little, and so did Leah's. At least two minutes passed and neither one of them said anything. He stepped forwards and held out his hand, they didn't need words.

"Mike," he said.

"Leah," she said taking his hand.

Leah felt like every slow song she'd ever heard was playing. It felt a lot like the feeling she had jumping off the cliff except in a good way. She didn't smile but her gaze didn't leave Mike's, nor him hers.


	10. One Year later

** One Year Later**

Leah was sitting on the cliffs staring out at the ocean. Only this time she wasn't alone, she was leaning on somebody's shoulder. She was glad to be back home because it felt like home again. Not because it was the place she'd grown up in, but because he was there with her.

Mike kissed her hand and brushed a strand of hair from her face. His touch always reminded her of scars that always felt to be the deepest, were the quickest to be healed. The sunset was nearly over now; this had been the first one she'd enjoyed on her cliffs in a long time.

"You're quiet this evening," he said.

"I'm happy," she said.

"I'm happy you're happy, but may I ask why?"

"It's just good to be home," she said.

"I actually did miss the site of camping gear and shoe boxes," he said with a laugh.

Leah laughed lightly and lied back on the grass. Mike rolled beside her and kissed the crook of her neck, Leah sighed happily. They must have fallen asleep like that for a while; when she woke up it was dark. Leah put her head up and Mike followed, they both got up.

Leah looked down at the beach to see the bonfire. Leah took Mike's hand and they ran down to the beach where the music was coming from. She laughed at Embry and Quil attempting to dance. Embry grinned dumbly at her when she burst out laughing, Quil stuck out his tongue out.

This only made her laugh harder, Embry picked her up throwing her over his shoulder. She screamed and Embry walked with her towards the water. Jacob and Quil followed laughing, "Mike help!"

"Oh no you deserved it," Mike said shaking his head and laughing lightly.

Leah's jaw dropped, "No! Its cold!" she protested.

Jacob and Quil were shaking with laughter, when Embry waded out in the water. Leah had her bathing suit on, but she still protested to being thrown in the ocean. Embry turned around and Jacob came over and grabbed Leah's feet. Leah screamed and tried to wiggle away before he could. Quil at this point was dying from laughter on the beach. Leah squealed as Embry took hold of her hands and they tossed her in the water.

Leah entered with a splash then resurfaced and growled, "You're gonna get it!"

A look of amusement and fear crossed all three of their faces. They looked at each other before trying to tear out of the water. Quil dove in avoiding Leah altogether. Leah jumped on Embry's back yanking him in with her. Jacob was laughing alone on the beach at this point. All three of them rose from the water, while he was having a fit.

They all looked at each other then turned to Jacob. A look of surprise crossed his face before he took off towards the beach. Embry threw him over his shoulder and chucked him out to where Leah was. Leah and Quil both resumed laughing and Embry dove back in. Mike and everybody else was now running down to the shore.

Leah ran out of the water and took Mike's hand to pull him in. Mike shook his head and grinned, "No way it's cold," he said.

Leah's jaw dropped and she gestured for Embry to come over. Mike looked at a grinning Embry wading out of the water and ran off. Embry and Quil both snatched him and chucked him into the ocean. Leah was laughing before Quil picked her up and threw her in with him.

Leah found Mike in the water among the swimmers that had now gathered. Mike's hair was covering his whole face; Leah pushed it back and kissed him. Mike kissed her back and then walked them both out of the water. Mike and Leah both jogged to the rock where nobody was.

Leah slammed her lips to Mike like a typical teenager. Mike laughed, "What do you want to do now?"

"Nothing," Leah said lying on Mike's chest, nothing as long as it was with him.

THE END


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